Ten things that I wont miss about Paraguay:
1. Red Dirt. I dust in the morning and by mid afternoon I have a fine layer of dirt on my desk. I use Q-tips to clean out the keys on my computer. . .red dirt. I then get inspired to clean my ears and go through another half dozen Q-tips only to find more. . . red dirt. I think I´m tan. Red dirt. I put my shoes on to go for a run. . . red dirt. I blow my nose. . . red dirt. I wipe my eyes. They burn. Red dirt.
2. Undependable running water. I should be grateful that I have running water at all. There are plenty of people all over the world living without running water. But to sometimes have water and at random moments not, it just seems like a guessing game. Thanks to Murphy´s law, I only don´t have running water when I need it the most. It´s nine thirty at night and I still haven´t showered or eaten dinner yet, and guess what? No water. I had unlimited water all day long and now of all times, NOTHING!
3. Guarani. I have no motivation to learn this language. Although at times I find the grunting, somewhat mummbling nature of the language entertaining, I mostly just find it annoying. Ha, ha that´s so funny I don´t speak Guarani. And yes that is so rare that Samantha is the same in English, Spanish and Guarani. And yes I do know that you are talking about me when I hear Guarani, Guarani, Guarani, Samantha, Guarani, Guarani, Guarani.
4. Being the public library. I probably get asked at least three times a day by three different people if I can lend them something. Lending in this country generally dictates as giving. I have had people ask me to borrow my bike, tweezers, money, nail polish, my blow up pool, spanish-english dictionary, head bands, necklaces, shirts, pants, skirts, shoes, lip gloss, perfume, books, markers, tape, my hose, air pump, computer, internet, golf clubs, tennis balls, candy, toilet paper, photographs, my camera, dvd´s, suitcases, face cream, and medical supplies. NO, NO and NO!!!!
5. The heat. Living in a hundred degree heat is one thing. It´s a whole different situation when you add humidity. And for icing on the cake, there´s no airconditioning. . . anywhere. At home, in the good ´ol USA I´m used to going from my aircondtioned apartment to my airconditioned car to another airconditioned building, whether it be the supermarket or to work. Here I bathe three times a day, try and not be in the sun between the hours of ten and five, and stay as close to a fan as possible, and I still find myself pouring sweat. To say the least, I´m over it.
6. Inappropriate cat calls. I go for a run. I have sweat dripping down my face and my hair is plastered to my forehead. Yet despite this less than attractive display of femininity, a half dozen men still find it necessary to whistle, try speaking in English, profess their undying love, or recite music lyrics. I am not a dog, please save the whistling for lower life forms. I am also not impressed that you can say I love you in English. You have studied this language for three years in high school. I hope you´d be able to say something. Lastly, there is a reason I´m wearing headphones. I have chosen to listen to my music, if I wanted to hear romantic spanish lyrics I would have put them on my Ipod.
7. Garbage. It is a cultural norm to not use garbage cans. It is therefore socially acceptable to throw your trash whenever and wherever you find it appropriate. Unforunately for what some find an appropriate place to dispose of garbage, I do not. At least during the winter the stench doesn´t travel far beacause of the cold, but during summer months, trash in the sun tends to cook, fester, and start to reek. If a bus driver hits a dog, that dog stays along side the road until enough animals, birds, and bugs clean the crime scene. A rotting dog on the road smells for about a week and a half. For an entire cow carcass to disapear it´s closer to a month. Translation. . . for one month of traveling by bus past that particular spot, you can not only see the evidence but are forced to smell it as well.
8. My salary. I am currently living on 300 US dollars a month. I used to make that in a double shift at the Saint Julien. I find myslef eating alot of canned tuna at the end of the month.
9. The bathrooms. I don´t share bathrooms well, however I´m currently sharing my bathroom with two other offices. I miss soft toilet paper. I mise as well use newspaper, cause it´s rather comparable with most T.P brands in Paraguay. I also miss having soap in bathrooms. I have quickly learned to always carry; one toilet paper and two hand sanitizer. I miss heated tiles and soft towels. I miss hairblow dryers and straitening irons.
10. Gossip. Sometimes the rumors that get spread are insulting, other times cruel, but for the most part they´re just funny. I seem to be a hot topic. I constantly get a handleful of people at my door asking if the rumor at hand could possibly be true.
Stranger:I heard your boyfriend is engaged and suppose to get married this weekend, is that true?
Me: No
Stanger 2: Is it true that you are pregnant with triples.
Me: No
Stranger 3: Is it true that before leaving for Peace Corps you were in a secret relationship with Brad Pitt, and that if it weren´t for Angelina he would have married you and you wouldn´t have ever joined Peace Corps and come to live here in Maciel.
Me: Ummmm......yes, uh-huh, yeah, that seems about right.
